I am sitting in my own special cubical on the 10th floor of the Republic Road ABSA building. I have been doing user acceptance testing with them for the last few days and I never cease to be amazed by this place. Perhaps a little background is in order, the company I work for is very cool – an interesting collection of individuals who enjoy what they do and the company of the people they work with. Our offices are small, colourful and dynamic and the people funny, quirky sometimes bordering on the eccentric but all round great.
Now I sit in this cubical, a super colour contrast of light grey and grape maroon that would make any hardened master of the fine arts squeal like a stuck pig. The septic hum of the air conditioner is marred only by the hushed whispers of the employees desperately trying to eke out a little privacy in this fluorescent, barren open plan hell. I shit you not, this is a leaf out of Dilbert – I expect to have Wally come shuffling around my cubical door clutching his cup of coffee, his last bastion of individuality to differentiate him from the rest of the shuffling automatons.
My other favorite thing about this place is the “dress code”, that perverted little rule that rends all remnants of individuality from your bosom. Should I?, perhaps – do I?, not a fuck. So here I sit it my jeans and a comfortable long sleeve pullover, Buddhist mala on my wrist and a cup of coffee gently steaming at my side and I wait…quietly..I feel like I should have a David Attenborough voice over for this little observation of the human psyche. Then behold they come, walking past my cubical, busy, important and obviously in a hurry, mincing their steps due to the massive ego-cabers they have inserted per rectum this morning … and then they see me sitting gasp in casual clothing and they take a double take, shock and obvious horror smeared on their faces like a bad makeup job. And I smile at them, more horror, who smiles at other people any more? Then they turn their faces to the ground and quickly shuffle off to important places that don’t disturb them quite as much.
It is best I go now, lest some intense bespectacled and grimly suited individual sidles up beside me and says “We’ve had our eye on you, Mr. Anderson!”
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